


What I'm looking for won't come from above

by UpInOrbit



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angels, M/M, Mentioned or implied OT7, Mentions of Blood, Mild Blood, Wonho is a teacher, hyungwon is an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 11:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17021748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpInOrbit/pseuds/UpInOrbit
Summary: Angels were born when the Sun started to rise, just before the first rays of sunlight dissipated the darkness, as a sign of the light they were meant to bring.Or the one where Wonho wakes up to a shooting star, a crater in his backyard and a fallen angel, all the same night.





	What I'm looking for won't come from above

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! I'm back and, finally, my first Monsta X fic! It was a bit hard to write it, but I really hope you enjoy it ^^  
> This work does delve into topics like angels and while it doesn't tie with religion in any other sense, if you're uncomfortable with this, please do consider whether to read it or not. Also, this is unbeta'ed, so I apologise for any possible mistakes.

It had been a dark day. 

Clouds covered the sky, so impenetrable the light barely reached the ground. There was a restlessness in the air, some sort of tension, as everyone scurried along the streets hurrying to get home, closing doors and windows, hugging their loved ones close to their chests, listening to their heartbeats, praying for something, anything. For humans might have long lost the ability to see past the ordinary, but a sixth sense remained, and they knew something was to come.

It had been a dark night. 

The clouds were long gone, but the stars and moon weren’t enough to dissipate the shadows. They shone in the sky, silent witnesses to what was to happen, beautiful and cold, and so out of reach.

The world had gone silent, like it was holding its breath and then there was light, a straight line that split the night sky in two, as it headed towards the ground, faster than the human eye could track. The impact shook the world to its core yet not a sound came from the collision. Still, it jerked Wonho awake.

Something made him look through the window and there, he saw it: in the middle of his backyard, there was a crater, big enough for him not to see its end, thin tendrils of smoke coming from it. His heart stopped, and he ran out of the room, leaping over the stairs to get to the back door.

It was a rather unpleasant night, the cold biting his arms as soon as he stepped out of the house, but he paid no mind to it. Carefully, he inched closer to the crater, peeping inside it, not daring to reach its side. Not that he had to. A hand suddenly gripped the edge and Wonho almost screamed his lungs out.

A body followed suit, a man standing on wobbly legs, alive despite the crashing and the crater he was in. Slowly, he got out of it, as Wonho stayed rooted to the floor, unable to move, unable to make a sound, petrified.

The man was completely naked, only hidden behind the steam that still arose from his body, skin as pale as marble, beauty as perfect as that of a statue. His hair was as white as snow, seemingly glinting under the pale light. He was the most breathtaking person he had ever seen but it was when he turned around that Wonho’s breath hitched, air stuck in his lungs: the man’s back was covered in blood that leaked from the open wounds on his shoulder blades, from the stumps that protruded there, the edges irregular like they had been carelessly cut off.

It was then when Wonho knew. It was when he knew that the man in front of him, with stars in his eyes and a frown on his face, was no man at all, but a fallen angel.

 

***

 

Somehow, Wonho made the angel come inside. He was slim but taller than he was, and he moved like in a daze, not reacting at Wonho, at anything. Wonho wanted to talk to him, ask him what had happened, but didn’t know how to start that conversation and so, he stayed silent. He did, however, try and inspect the angel’s wounds. He had already checked that the angel supported no other injuries and while he didn’t know if the loss of the wings could kill him, he didn’t want to take any risks.

He brought clothes and a first aid quit with him but as soon as he tried to reach for the angels back, there was a hand stopping him, long fingers firmly caging his wrist. The angel was staring at him.

“Don’t”, he said. His voice wasn’t unpleasant, Wonho noticed, but it was cold.

“I just want to make sure they’re not going to get infected”.

The angel dropped his hand, resting it on his leg.

“They won’t, don’t worry about it”.

Wonho briefly considered pushing the subject but there was something in the angel’s demeanor that stopped him from doing it. Instead, he pushed the bundle of clothes towards him. The angel merely raised a brow in response, not making any move to get them.

“You need some clothes”.

The angel silently grabbed them and proceeded to put them on. When he was finished, he raised his head and stared at Wonho.

“May I stay the night?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll prepare the guest room” Wonho gestured in the direction of said room. He hesitated for a moment, before asking, apprehensively. “I don’t mean to pry but, why are you here?”

One of the corner of his lips rose in a sad, deprecating smile.

“I think you express it as ‘curiosity killed the cat’. I’m not a cat but the point still stands”.

Wonho ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, sighing. It was too late to try and get a better answer. He still wasn’t sure all that wasn’t some bizarre dream. Turning around, he motioned for the angel to follow and showed him to the guest room.

“Will you at least tell me your name?”.

“You can call me Hyungwon”.

 

***

 

By the time Hyungwon woke up the next morning, the human (Wonho, if memory served him right) was already gone. Sighing, he carefully raised himself into a standing position, wincing at the pain in his back. He slowly made the trek to the bathroom, trying to not move much, least his back started bleeding again.

Once there, the mirror showed him a pale and sickly version of himself, his skin too tight over his bones, eyes sunken and feverish. Some part of him wished to believe it was all a dream. The other knew it wasn’t. 

He could barely stand up, the pain too much to handle, but he gritted his teeth and fought to stay upright. It appeared like his wings, or rather, what remained of them, were starting to heal, and he wished to the stars for it to happen fast. 

He had learnt his lesson. He only wanted to go back home.

But he knew it was pointless. His wings would take long to heal, weeks, months, maybe even years, depending on how much damage they had inflicted upon him. When angels got punished, it was no levity. He would be stuck on the ground, unable to reach them, until he had learnt his lesson, until he was allowed to go back.

He smiled bitterly. He had brought that upon himself, after all. He should have known better.

His thoughts were interrupted when his stomach grumbled, reminding him of his new body, far more fragile than his previous one. He had to feed.

Grunting, he started his search for the kitchen, and it wasn’t long before he found it, and Wonho in it. The man looked up briefly before he went back to his cooking. Hyungwon’s stomach grumbled at the smell, his knees suddenly weak, mouth watering.

“Sit” Wonho used a wooden spoon to point one of the stools near the table and Hyungwon obeyed. “I was wondering if you were ever going to wake up. I had started to fear you had died after you hadn’t moved in over two days”.

“Two days?” no wonder he was famished.

Wonho nodded, serving him some soup and sitting in front of him.

“I wasn’t sure if angels could die but I was going to do something tonight if you didn’t wake up. Because that’s what you are, right? An angel” he was staring at Hyungwon, waiting for an answer. 

“I thought you had already seen my wings. Why ask a question when you know the answer”. 

Hyungwon was too busy eating to even look at the human’s face but he could make the look of slight embarrassment. 

“And why are you here?”

Hyungwon’s hand stilled, before resting it on the table.

“Punishment. I am to stay here until I heal”. 

He shot the human a look that told him to stay clear from the subject and he wisely did. The conversation died down after that, both of them silent as they finished eating, until Wonho got up to clean the dishes.

“Could I maybe stay with you for a while? Until I’m fully healed. If that’s okay with you”, he added, when he saw concern in Wonho’s eyes. The human stayed silent for a couple seconds, the struggle almost visible, until he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Of course. Anything you may need”. Hyungwon tipped his head.

And just like that, Hyungwon’s problems were mostly solved.

 

***

 

Wonho had never wanted to get a roommate ever again after he finished college. He had had enough, he thought. But the universe had deemed it funny to send his way a cranky angel and forced them to live together. Well, he wasn’t really “forced” to, but there was no way Wonho was going to quick him out, specially when he suspected said angel knew little about the world. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to survive on he’s own.

Therefore, Wonho housed him, wishing the day in which he’d leave would come quickly. So far, he’d had no such luck.

It wasn’t like Hyungwon was a particularly bad housemate. Wonho had had them worse. At least Hyungwon maintained some kind of order resemblance, and he was reasonably clean. No, he wasn’t bad per se, but he wasn’t exactly good either. He spent his days lazing around the house, sprawled on the couch, watching TV and complaining about the bad decisions the TV character’s made. It didn’t matter at what time Wonho showed up from work, Hyungwon would be laying on the couch. Sometimes, he’d be sleeping. Occasionally, he’d have prepared something to eat, which he would begrudgingly share with Wonho. He better, Wonho reasoned. He ate his food and slept in his spare room. He wasn’t even paying rent.

After one too many days of seeing Hyungwon doing nothing but staying at home (Wonho wasn’t even sure if he had set a foot outside. For all he knew, the angel might have turned into a vampire and couldn’t be out in broad daylight. Well, at least he’d have one problem less), Wonho snapped. The next morning, he dragged a complaining Hyungwon out of bed and to work with him.

“Just let me stay at your house, I don’t even know what you work as!”

“See? That’s exactly the problem! You’ve been staying at my house for over two months, you eat my food and monopolize my living room, and yet you know nothing about me! Nothing, ¡nada! At least you’re in the living room and not your bedroom or I wouldn’t even know if you’re gone. Or worse, dead! So you’re coming with me and you’re spending the day doing something” Wonho gave Hyungwon no chance to speak as he parked his car in front of a brightly painted building.

Hyungwon let out a sigh as he followed Wonho out of the car.

“And what did you say you worked as?”

Wonho smiled and merely opened the door in response.

 

It turned out that Hyungwon was better with kids than what Wonho had expected. He was cranky and sarcastic and he mostly refused to help Wonho out until the latter was threatening to throw him out of the house, but that side of him had disappeared as he let the children climb over him like he was a tree. He even held one of the youngest, almost a baby, close to his chest as he fell asleep in his arms. 

Wonho would be lying if he said the sight didn’t make his heart melt. 

Wonho had founded the nursery years ago, fulfilling his long-life dream at last, and it was one of the things that most him the most joy. He found secret pleasure in revealing his job to others and watching as they tried to conceal their surprise, not expecting the muscular men in front of them to be a kindergarten teacher. But Wonho had always loved kids and as soon as he had been able to, he had opened the nursery, and employed his friends, Minhyuk and Kihyun, to help him. 

Children made him happy. The way the saw the world, innocent and full of wonder, made him believe in the goodness of people, made him maintain his hope in humanity, and so, when he saw the state Hyungwon was in, he could only think of bringing him there, with his kids. As he watched Hyungwon feed the kids with the uttermost care, he hoped it had been a good idea.

“Will we be coming back tomorrow?” Hyungwon asked as soon as they got into the car, after closing the nursery.

“I will” Wonho answered carefully. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m not going to force this on you. I just wanted you to get out of the house for a little while”.

Hyungwon stared at him, pensively, as Wonho drove them back home. When they arrived and Hyungwon made no move to get out of the car, Wonho stayed inside with him.

“When I… lost my wings” he started, his eyes fixed on the seam of his trousers, “I was punished. The punishment was very specific, because I did something I wasn’t supposed to do, and that couldn’t be tolerated”.

“What did you do?” 

Wonho thought Hyungwon had waited a long time to be able to say that out loud, and he couldn’t help but sympathize with the angel. He had seen the longing in his eyes whenever he saw birds flying. Losing his wings seemed like a horrible punishment for someone whose nature was one to soar the skies. Again, that must have been the point. He reached for his hand in silent comfort.

“I observed you. Not you, specifically, but humans. There’s something so… Alive, in you. It made me jealous. And the more I looked, the more I didn’t want to stop. But we aren’t allowed to do that. We’re supposed to stay in the skies and away from you. My curiosity was too much. Some said I wanted to become human. And so, they cut my wings off. Said if I wanted to be a human, then I should live like one. They thought if they cut off my wings, then I would hate you and blame you for what had happened to me” he let out a mirthless chuckle, and Wonho saw the tears streaming down his face. “And they were right” he whispered. “I’ve hated you, when you’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I wanted to punch myself and you. Until today” he looked up at Wonho and squeezed his hand, smiling shakily. “I’ve always liked kids. And I’d like to go back tomorrow, if that’s fine with you”.

Wonho smiled and nodded, his voice lost.

 

***

 

And just like that, they settled into a confortable rhythm. Hyungwon would go with Wonho to help him at the nursery, and Wonho let him stay at his house, which he had secretly began to consider as of the both of them.

There was something in Hyungwon that healed a little when he was among the children, a weight that was lifted from his chest and that allowed him to breath easier. But when that wasn’t enough, when nothing the children did managed to put a smile on his face, Wonho would take him out, anywhere he wanted. Once, he took him to the tallest building in the city, so tall it dwarfed the one’s surrounding it and it was the sight of the sky that made Hyungwon breath a little easier.

Since then, whenever Hyungwon felt down, when the loss of his wings weighed him down, they would go out, to the nearest mountain, wherever Hyungwon felt the most free, until the clouds lifted from his eyes and he could smile at Wonho.

And when Hyungwon found Wonho crying at night, head buried between his hands, his hair sticking out from where he had run his fingers, worrying that he might lose the nursery, the expenses way too high out of a sudden, he sat with him and brought him closer to his chest, and vowed to help him out in any way possible.

It wasn’t long until he went back home, setting an envelope full of cash in front of Wonho, laughing when he saw the shock and wonder in Wonho’s faces as he counted the money. 

“In exchange for all those months I didn’t pay and was a burden”.

Wonho tried to refuse it, but it was of no use. Hyungwon might have been naive, but he wasn’t stupid. Wonho was doing fine before Hyungwon’s arrival, and having to pay for the food and clothing and housing of another person had taken a toll on him, one that Hyungwon couldn’t allow.

They stayed up at night binge-watching whatever was on TV, and Wonho vowed to teach Hyungwon how to cook, not giving up even after Hyungwon had almost burnt his kitchen down.

And if sometimes Wonho found white feathers around the house, they didn’t talk about it. And if Hyungwon could sometimes feel a prickle were his wings were healing, and sometimes swore he could feel them growing back, he said nothing.

 

***

 

It had been a cold day.

There had been nothing remarkable about it except for that, and yet Hyungwon knew. He knew the time was to come and he willed himself to be ready. He put on a mask with a smile, and he forced it to stay there, not to slip, as he observed Wonho around the house, committing the image to memory. He laughed at his jokes and pretended to be annoyed by his nagging, while he lazed around the house.

When the night came, and he was sure no one would see them, he stepped into the porch and held his hand in open invitation.

“What are you doing?” he laughed, cocking his head in confusion.

Hyungwon set his wings free. They were white, a shade so pure it was almost shining in the dim light, and soft, like they were made out of cotton, or the clouds themselves. After such a long time, it was a relief to let them out, even if they, too, weighed him down.

Wonho stepped forward, his arm reaching for them, until he stopped just shy of touching them. He turned his eyes towards Hyungwon, who smiled in response.

“Go on”, he urged.

Encouraged, Wonho caressed the feather like they were the most precious thing in the world, and Hyungwon’s eyes shone with unshed tears. Oblivious to this, Wonho continued to explore the wings, and by the time he came back into sight, Hyungwon had already composed himself.

“They’re beautiful” Wonho whispered.

Hyungwon bit his tongue to keep his words from spilling out.

“Do you want to try them?”

Wonho’s eyes widened at the invitation. There was fear in them, but also thrill and utter confidence in Hyungwon that made his heart clench in adoration for the man in front of him. Without a word, Wonho stepped into his embrace, locking his arms behind Hyungwon’s neck. They stayed still for a moment, Hyungwon basking in the other’s heat, before he extended his wings and, with half a thought, shot them to the skies.

It wasn’t the most pleasant of flights, and he could practically feel Wonho shivering in his arms,the night air far too cold for a human, but not once did he complain. He was too busy staring at everything, childish wonder in his eyes, smiling as widely as Hyungwon had ever seen him. They were surrounded by lights, stretching over their heads and under their feet, diamonds shining on a velvety black, and Hyungwon felt at peace at the fact that he could, at least, give that to the man that had come to mean so much to him. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough, and nothing Hyungwon did could ever express his immense gratitude, but it would have to suffice.

They didn’t speak as they stayed in the skies, Hyungwon’s wings maintaining them in the air with little effort, until he felt Wonho’s shaking worsen, and decided to head down. Softly, he landed in the exact same spot they had been standing and he stepped back so that Wonho could go back in, but he was withhold from doing that by Wonho’s arms, still firmly placed on his shoulder.

Carefully, like Wonho could break at any moment, Hyungwon placed his hands on the man’s waist, ignoring the way they were trembling, ignoring the flush in his cheeks, his quickening heartbeat.

“Thank you, for this” Wonho’s voice was soft, almost too soft, but still Hyungwon heard him, like he heard everything, saw everything related with him.

Not trusting his voice, not with the lump in his throat making it hard to breath, he gently squeezed his waist in response. Wonho then disentangled his arms from were they rested against Hyungwon’s nape and smiled, softly.

“Good night”. Dubiously, he leaned forward and pecked Hyungwon’s cheek, before scurrying back home.

Shell-shocked, Hyungwon raised a hand against his cheek, where he could still feel the fantom touch of a feather-like kiss. Some distant part of him had taken in the sadness that lingered in Wonho’s eyes and he wondered if he had known. Maybe he had, from the moment he had stepped out of the house, perhaps ever since the Sun had started to rise.

By the time Wonho woke up, the house was empty, all traces of another person living there, gone, like they had never even existed.

 

***

 

Everything was different from up there. A vast expanse of white skies and endless clouds. It was easy to lose oneself, easy to lose all sense of direction when everything looked the same, when you couldn’t tell right from left. Maybe that was why he was captivated by the humans. When he looked at them, he didn’t feel like he was lacking anything, like he was a stranger to himself. Humans had helped him find himself, even after he had lost all hope to do so. And yet, they were also the reason of his downfall.

He raised his head as the Sun began to sink in the skies, starting it’s slow descent.

“Are you sure about this, brother?”

Hyungwon smiled, a slight tug on the corner of his lips. It didn’t ease his brother’s discomfort, but it was never intended for it to do so.

“I am”.

There was heartbreak, and pain, such torturous pain in his brother’s dark eyes that Hyungwon felt sorry for him, felt the need to explain himself, but he knew it to be pointless. He remembered the times when the angel in front of him was still a kid, eyes bright with mischief, smile always poised. There was little of that child in the man that stood before him, juvenile wickedness long since forgotten, hard lines where a grin used to be.

No, he wouldn’t understand. Once, he might have, but no longer.

“But you just got them back” his brother whispered, eyes slowly filling with tears. 

He raised his hand, meaning to touch Hyungwon’s wings, but stopped a breath’s distance from them. Slowly, he curled his fingers and brought his fist down.

“I don’t want them anymore”.

Tears had begun falling down the hard plains of his brother’s face, glistening like diamonds under the dying light. Distantly, Hyungwon marveled at the realization that he had never seen his brother cry. 

Angels were born when the Sun started to rise, just before the first rays of sunlight dissipated the darkness, as a sign of the light they were meant to bring. 

At least, that was what they’d been told. Hyungwon couldn’t remember a single time he had brought light to anyone’s life. Not before he had fallen.

“You know what will happen then” it was barely a chocked sob, but Hyungwon heard it regardless.

Ever since he had been born, he had lived among the stars, seeking their guidance, their confort. But what no one had told him, what he had failed to see, was that stars were as beautiful as they were cold, unreachable even for those with wings, even for those who lived among them. And with only their example to follow, he had turned cold and unfeeling, caged in himself until he had plummeted to the ground and broken to pieces, only to be put back again, a little crooked, a little twisted, but so much more himself.

“Angels cannot exist without their wings” his brother was crying then, tears falling down his face, hands trembling. Hyungwon wished to tell him it was going to be all right, but he knew better than to lie.

“It’s time, brother” he whispered.

Wordlessly, his brother pulled him into his embrace, holding him as close as he could, like he could stop Hyungwon from doing what he was going to do. Deep down, though, he knew it was hopeless, and that knowledge made him cry harder, chocking on his tears. Hyungwon, too, held his brother close, relishing those last few moments before the Sun finally sunk.

Another pair of hands, covered in rings, reached for his brother and pulled him away from Hyungwon, gently but firmly, as he trashed and tried to get back to him. Hyungwon smiled at the man who then held his brother close, his red hair a stark contrast to his pale skin, and tipped his head in acknowledgement. 

There was a hissing sound behind him, just as his brother cries got louder. Hyungwon didn’t have to turn around to know what it was. 

He thought he heard a prayer, a muttered apology. It didn’t matter.

Angels were born with the first lights of dawn. 

He sensed something move at his back.

It was only natural they died with the last lights of dusk. 

The Sun set, taking the light with it.

The sword fell.

A single scream of pain echoed through the world, it’s owner so broken, he made even the stars cry.

 

***

 

It was a bright day.

Hyungwon stretched his neck, worn out after the long day, even as it had filled him with happiness. The cold had finally been banished and the Sun shone brightly, so Hyungwon stood apart from the crowd in which he had been immersed, basking in the heat. He guessed he was supposed to be mingling around, but, truth be told, he found that exhausting, and so he had decided to take a moment for himself.

It wasn’t long after that he felt someone standing beside him and his lips stretched into a smile, not needing to look to know who it was.

“How are you?” Wonho rested his head on Hyungwon’s shoulder.

“Better than ever” he said, affection dripping in his tone.

“I saw you talking to two guys before. Friends of yours?” he asked. Hyungwon shook his head.

 

_“You shouldn’t be here” he said, without turning back._

_“Not even the end of the world would stop me from coming”._

_Hyungwon turned around, smiling widely at the sight of his brother. Stepping forwards, he enveloped him in a hug, immensely happy at seeing him at last. There were tears in their eyes by the time they broke apart, and there was still pain in the angel’s eyes, but there was also happiness, pure and undiluted._

_“I hope you’re happy with your human. I hope you made the right choice”._

_Hyungwon’s eyes involuntarily sought Wonho out, smiling when he saw him standing among his friends, laughing and shining like he was a Sun himself. Without looking away, he answered._

_“I did. He makes me so happy. He’s taught me many things. And I hope he won’t ever leave me, but even if that day somehow comes, I’ll still have what he taught me, I’ll still have my memories and myself. He’s the best gift I’ve ever been granted and I’ll honour him for as long as I’m alive”._

_He had known, from the first moment, what his brother had been looking for. He hoped he had managed to ease his concerns, lift that sorrow form his features. And, sure enough, when he looked back to him, there was some resemblance of calmness, a quiet acceptation that hadn’t been there the first time._

_His brother nodded, eyes shining, and turned around, his hand seeking that of the man who stood behind him. There was a spark of recognition in Hyungwon when he saw the bright red hair, and he shot the man a smile._

_“I wish you the best, brother”._

_Hyungwon saw them disappear into the crowd, no doubt looking for a place in which they could use their wings to fly back home. He wished they would arrive there safely, and that they’d seen each other soon. Until then, he’d wait._

_“Bye, Changkyun”._

 

“My brother. He’s long gone, though” he answered, as Wonho craned his neck searching for his brother.

“Shit. I’d have liked to meet him” Wonho mused.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got a feeling that we’ll be seeing him sooner than expected”.

“I thought you weren’t allowed to do that”. Hyungwon let a small laugh at that.

“My brother was never one to follow the rules. And the angel who reinforces them has a soft spot for him, so he’ll be fine. We’ll be fine”.

At that, Wonho smiled, eyes turning into crescent moons, and Hyungwon felt his heart constrict. Twice he had fallen and twice he had found himself in the same man’s backyard. What he once had thought was the worst thing that could ever happen to him, had turned into the one that brought him the most joy. And he knew he would go through that again, through the pain and despair if it brought him to that moment, if it ended up with him standing under the Sun, standing by the man that had become his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this story. It might have been a bit of a mess but I hope it wasn't too bad. Please do tell me what you thought about it, comments and kudos are always appreciated! I'll see you guys with another fic soon(ish)!
> 
> [tw](https://twitter.com/monstaruniverse) || [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Val_99)
> 
> \- Val


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